How to Beat Loneliness and Build Social Connection

Loneliness isn’t only about being alone. You can feel lonely in a busy office, in a marriage, or in a crowded city. And it’s common: in a 2023 advisory, the U.S. Surgeon General reported that about half of American adults say they’ve experienced loneliness, with some of the highest rates among young adults.

The advisory also found that a lack of social connection carries real health risks. The good news is that connection is a skill you can rebuild in small steps. This guide explains why it matters, a 30-day plan to start, where to find people when you don’t know anyone, and when loneliness is a sign to get more support.

Why social connection matters for your health

According to the Surgeon General’s advisory, Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation:

• Loneliness increases the risk of premature death by 26%, and social isolation by 29%.
• Lacking social connection can increase the risk of premature death about as much as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.
• Poor social connection is associated with a 29% higher risk of heart disease and a 32% higher risk of stroke.

Loneliness is also closely tied to depression and anxiety. That’s why the advisory treats social connection as a health issue, not just a personal preference.

Loneliness vs. isolation: which one is it?

	Social isolation	Loneliness
What it is	Having few relationships or little contact with others	The painful feeling that your connections don’t meet your needs
Example	A retiree who rarely leaves home after moving to a new town	Someone with many coworkers but no one to call when things go wrong
What usually helps	More contact: groups, routines, places to see people regularly	Deeper connection: fewer, closer conversations and more openness

Many people have some of both. Knowing which is stronger for you helps you pick the right first steps.

Start small: 5 actions from the Surgeon General

The Surgeon General’s letter in the advisory suggests simple things anyone can do:

1. Answer that phone call from a friend, or call someone back today.
2. Make time to share a meal with someone.
3. Listen without the distraction of your phone. Put it away during conversations.
4. Perform an act of service, such as helping a neighbor or volunteering.
5. Express yourself authentically. Let people know how you’re actually doing.

A 30-day reconnection plan

Week	Goal	Ideas
1	Reach out	Send three short messages to people you’ve lost touch with. Something as simple as “I was thinking of you, how have you been?”
2	Meet in person	Invite one person for coffee, a walk, or a meal. Suggest a specific day and time.
3	Join something regular	Try one group that meets weekly or monthly: a class, a volunteer shift, a faith community, a walking group, or a hobby club.
4	Go deeper	Go back to the same group a second and third time. Share one honest thing with someone you trust.

Regular, repeated contact is what turns acquaintances into friends. One great event matters less than seeing the same people again and again.

Where to meet people when you don’t know anyone

• Volunteer. Food banks, animal shelters, schools, and hospitals need regular volunteers, and working side by side makes conversation easy.
• Public libraries often host free book clubs, classes, and game nights.
• Community and senior centers offer meals, exercise classes, and trips, often free or low cost.
• Classes at community colleges or parks departments, from cooking to computer skills.
• Faith communities, if that fits your beliefs.
• Exercise groups, like walking clubs, recreational sports leagues, or group fitness classes. See our guide on fitting exercise into a busy week.
• Support groups for people going through the same thing, such as caregiving, job loss, grief, or a health condition.

Example: rebuilding a social life after a move

Ruth, 67, moved closer to her daughter after retiring and realized after three months that she spoke to almost no one besides family. She signed up for a weekly volunteer shift at the library, joined a Tuesday morning walking group at the senior center, and set a reminder to call one old friend every Sunday.

The first few weeks felt awkward. By the second month, two women from the walking group invited her to lunch, and the library staff asked her to help with a reading program. Nothing dramatic changed in a single day. She just kept showing up to the same places, and the familiar faces became friends.

What to say: easy ways to start

The hardest part is often the first message. These scripts take the pressure off:

• Reconnecting: “Hey, I saw something today that reminded me of you. How have you been?”
• Making a plan: “I’d love to catch up. Are you free for coffee Saturday morning, or a walk one evening this week?”
• At a group or class: “Is this your first time here too?” or “How long have you been coming?”
• Turning an acquaintance into a friend: “I’ve enjoyed talking with you at these meetings. Want to grab lunch after next week’s?”

If someone doesn’t respond or says no, it usually has more to do with their schedule than with you. Try again later, or reach out to someone else. Making friends as an adult takes repeated invitations, and almost everyone appreciates being asked.

If loneliness comes from life changes

• After a job loss or retirement: work provided daily contact. Replace it on purpose with scheduled activities. Our layoff checklist covers the practical side.
• Working from home: schedule video or phone calls, work from a library or coffee shop sometimes, and plan social time after work.
• Caring for a family member: look for caregiver support groups and ask relatives for regular breaks.
• After a loss: grief support groups can connect you with people who understand.

When to get more support

Loneliness that lasts can lead to, or come with, depression. Reach out to a doctor or mental health professional if you feel sad or empty most days, have lost interest in things you used to enjoy, have trouble sleeping or eating, or feel hopeless. Our guide on how to find free or low-cost mental health care lists options for every budget.

If you’re thinking about harming yourself or you’re in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day.